Ted van der Parre

In the rowdy tradition of Constitution Drinks, a boozy rite of passage where plans are made to bras, and alcohol flows like water. We burly, beer-fueled titans with mountain-like biceps and livers of steel, tempered by innumerable ad fundums, are the sworn protectors of the drinks’ most sacred treasures: the pedel staff, guest book, and board members. We patrol the premises, our piercing gazes deterring even the boldest of these would-be brassers. Through the sheer power of alcohol, and boundless confidence, we ensure nothing—and no one—will be brassed. To the board, we are heroes; to the would-be brassers, a nightmare. We don’t just protect a constitution drink, we are its guardian angels.

“Idun what is your profession?! AHOE AHOE AHOE” ~ Beveiligingsdispuut Ted van der Parre