Lifeline

In order for your life to go smoothly, lubes are a necessity (literally). With our theme being 69 (hehe nice), Lifeline made it their duty to test various lubes and provide you Idunnaren with the important information on which one is the best. Fortunately, we are not the only ones that understand the importance of lubes during sex! ‘Christine le Duc’  is a classy sex shop located in the city centre of Groningen, at the Gedempte Zuiderdiep 88, which kindly provided us with free lubes to review! A wide range of lubes was tested, from anal lubes to warming lubes! Seriously, apart from lubes, Christine le Duc has way more tools to offer. It’s a beautiful store that is totally worth checking out!

We tested the lubes on our hands (no, we didn’t have a Lifeline orgy) and based our judgement upon the following criteria: stickiness, slipperiness, smell, flavour, and packaging. The price of the lubes ranged from €10,- to €15,-. All the lubes came in a pump bottle with a twistable cap, to close off the bottle for travelling purposes, for example. 

Sensitive lube

Latex allergies, penis rash and vagina burns. Not with this lube for sensitive skin! The first impression from our praesus: ‘It's not sticky, it’s oily!!’. Lifeline agrees that this lube is slippery, which is very nice. While the lube itself is completely odourless, the flavour is a bit sweet and tastes pleasant overall. Moving on to packaging, nothing too shabby. Some of our members thought that the packaging resembles a face cleanser, while others got the vibe of a disinfection gel tube. Might be nice when your parents are visiting and you want to hide your lubes from them though, but it does lack the classiness the other lubes have (spoiler). Overall, a good lube!! It would be great to use, but there is nothing special about it. Sometimes there is beauty in simplicity, which definitely holds true for this lube.

Aloe vera

Although we were off to a great start, this lube disappointed us a bit. Well, not a bit, a great bit actually. Our seccie noted that “It’s like the soap you never use because it isn't nice, but then, it’s lube.” Unfortunately, this lube was suuuper sticky, which can only equal being stuck to your toy or partner when using this. Slipperiness, on the other hand, was less; it reminded us of the consistency of soap. These qualities we can overcome, but not the smell and taste. It was a gross combination of soap, cucumber, and salad. Again our seccie: “I would not eat a spoonful of it”. The packaging was very nice though, super classy with the black and gold. However, true beauty comes from within, and this lube was definitely not the prettiest.

Anal relax

This lube piqued our curiosity. What feeling would this lube bring? What would anal relax taste like? Upon application on our hands, we wondered if it was going to be numbing. Parit came up with the ingenious idea to test it like cocaine; on your gums. And oh boy, numbing it was. A few dearest members couldn't feel the tip of their tongues for over 30 minutes! Strong stuff indeed. While Lifeline was unsure whether it would really relax the anal region, we could imagine the pain many associate with anal sex would definitely be less. Consistency-wise, the texture was a bit soapy when rubbed between hands, and sticky, rather than slippery. The taste was, surprisingly, minty! Jelle: “It tasted like dentist mint. He wasn’t wrong: the lube tasted like you swallowed a dentist’s office. Better than anal relax, I guess, but not very pleasant nonetheless. For the packaging: 10/10, Christine le Duc did it again with their high-class bitch packaging.

Silicone

‘I wanna fuck with this’; is a quote from one of our dear members. While that is the point of most lubes, Lifeline agrees that this would probably be one of the best. It feels super nice on both hands and lips (on the face): it is zero sticky and has all the slippery, but in the best way possible! This lube is odourless and tasteless; it is a neutral option; which is considered a plus by Lifeline. Packaging is, again, classy and beautiful. Really, there isn’t much to say about this lube other than that it feels amazing on the skin and that the neutrality of the lube makes it suitable for many! An editor’s note, however: silicone lube and silicone toys do not really match. While it won’t melt off the outside of your toy immediately, silicone lube can degrade it over time. So beware! Condoms are no problemo, by the way.

Passion fruit

Woooow, another ‘special’ lube! And it did not disappoint. The consistency is slightly sticky and medium slippery. Could be better, could be worse. The smell is kind of like a candle, according to yours truly. Our praesus would eat it by the spoon, as the taste is glorious (Which was to be expected, as it is a flavoured lube, but still). The flavour is not artificial and is on the sweeter side. The aftertaste is nice, a bit like skittles. Although the stickiness called for a good hand wash afterwards, the good taste put everything else in disregard. Additionally, the packaging is even more beautiful than the others, showcasing a sexy purple. 

Warming

We saved the best for last. Did we? Unfortunately not. Lifeline had it all pictured: a cold winter evening, candles on the couch, blankets nearby, and this warming lube to get the red cheeks started. To our disappointment, however, it was more of a big bottle of lip plumber. It tingled like hell!!! (Which could be nice, but it is something to be aware of). This lube was tasteless and odourless but had a weird toothpaste-like consistency. Praesus: “It’s thiccccc”. It felt slippery, and a bit sticky. Make sure you clean this afterwards, otherwise you might tingle all day long (unless, of course, that’s your thing). The bottle is again, so beautiful.

Conclusion

After tasting 6 lubes, including a numbing one, the mouths of Lifeliners were dry and numb. But we were satisfied nonetheless, as we came to a great review and discovered which Christine le Duc lube was our absolute favourite. No surprise: silicone. Seriously, buy this. The passion fruit came (haha) in second place, while the sensitive lube reached a solid third. The tingling one and the anal relax were intriguing, and not bad, but not really our thing. Be sure to check them out if you are curious! We advise you to skip the aloe vera, however, that’s just liquid cucumber. All in all, if you want to have smooth sex alone or with (a) partner(s), Lifeline strongly recommends checking out the lubes from Christine le Duc. 

Live your smoothest life!

Sticky and numb kisses,

Lifeline