After an infinite amount of January we are all of the sudden here, months ahead. In the rush of academics there is a void to fill. I want to change something, enhance my sense of personality. Yet four boring white walls stare at me every morning when I wake. The solution? Painting my wall. A roadtrip to Gamma it is. In the paint aisle, a kaleidoscope of colours awaits. Hundreds of little coloured cards can be found. All beautifully aligned in a perfect rainbow, but with one chaotic twist; Their names. A scala of random obscure names is printed on the cards in a light grey font. No rhyme or reason found in the naming. I wonder whether there is a deeper meaning behind each name. Or is it a thoughtless process. Can you apply to become a wall paint namer? Can I leave writing my thesis behind and switch career path to name paints forever? It sounds awfully appealing. I start scanning the colours. A wide range of cool toned blue hues. I am allergic to the cold. Figuratively, but could be literally. You can get cold urticaria, hives, from touching cold water or being outside in the winter air. Rare, but possible. A mutation on the PLCG2 enzyme can disrupt the entire activation of the immune system. Causing the body to make autoantibodies and react so strongly to the cold that you get itchy hives, faint or even die. No, I don't want a blue wall. Rather something warm-toned. A nice tan colour. “Colony” catches my eye. A light grey, slightly warm toned. Not brown, not grey. A weird name for this colour. It somewhat resembles my kitchen sink, so maybe it refers to bacterial colonies. We all clean our sink somewhat. But never more than surface level. The constant moisture, temperature, pH and the bits of onion and other veggies that are flushed down the drain are an amazing environment for dozens of microbes to thrive. Exophiala is most abundant in all of our sinks. A member of the black yeast family. Black is a colour. Isn't it? On the cardboard paint swatches it isn't. Sometimes things look black, but are not. Like the bottom of the ocean floor. Everything seems pitchblack, but upon closer inspection, it is pretty colourful. Though not per definition beautiful. Like the goblin shark. It has one of the ugliest noses in the animal kingdom, with razor sharp teeth and can be up to 6 metres long. Definitely not a fish you would want to meet on your diving trip on your summer vacation. But the chances of meeting a goblin shark are slim anyways as it is a very rare species. I move my way to the yellows and greens. So bright. Nearly poisonous. I don't know about you, but when I think of poisonous animals, I think of frogs. The bright red dots on their backs, their high jumps and loud croaks. Though not all of them croak. Maybe that is why some are harder to discover. Recently a new frog species has been uncovered, the Hyperolius ukaguruensis. They are completely silent. To identify each other they make use of touch. There are bumps on their spine that function like braille, or so it seems. And they can use this as a form of communication instead of saying crooaaaakk all day long. Frogs somehow tiptoe the line of being disgusting and cute. Find one in the wild? disgusting. Have merchandise with a cartoon frog on it? very cute. I read the next card and a turquoise colour named “thesis” reminds me of the harsh reality I need to return to. The chaotic mess of colours and their names overwhelms me and I leave the store empty handed. Four white walls it is. Maybe the less chaotic, the better.
